Subject: Tastes like Chicken...
Date: Sun, 9 Jun 1996 19:52:02 -0400

These answers to the eternal question come by way of Roy Atkinson...
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DANGERS OF PHILOSOPHY
(Take it from  one who knows.)

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that 
      individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture; therefore, 
      synchronicity.

Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself.

Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects 
      "chicken" and "road," and circumstances came into being which caused the 
      actualization of this potential occurrence.

Epicurus: For fun.

Plato: For the greater good.

Zeno: To prove that it could never reach the other side.

Marx: It was a historical inevitablity.

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DANGERS OF LITERATURE
(Take it from one who knows.)

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Goethe: The eternal hen-principle.

Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Douglas Adams: 42

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BEST ANSWER AWARD

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Sphinx: You tell me.