Subject: News Flash
Date: Wed, 10 Jul 1996 22:23:55 -0400

            From the WhiteBoard News for Wednesday, July 10, 1996
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Revelstoke, British Columbia, Canada:

Kidnapping victim Ronald McDonald will soon be back on his bench in front of
the local McDonald's restaurant.

The statue was taken June 18 and recently resurfaced on Mayor Shelby
Harvey's lawn. His whereabouts until Wednesday were unknown.

Ransom calls to a local radio station from CLOWN (Coalition to Liberate
Overworked Nonsense) stated Ronald would be returned if residents made
donations at the Royal Bank for a rescue truck.

A total of $1,300 was raised as of Wednesday for the safe return of the
168-kilogram plastic Ronald McDonald.

The culprits who originally stole Ronald from the restaurant remain unknown.

"We suspect it was a graduation prank," said manager Tony Naccarato.

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Fast News Forum:

A South African firm is marketing "Boutras Boutras Garlic," bottles of the
herb, named after United Nations Secretary-General Boutros Boutros Ghali.
They are on sale at the United Nations building.

A chimpanzee from the Krakow, Poland, zoo earned a 10-percent return on a
three-month investment choosing stocks in the Warsaw stock market, beating a
local brokerage.

Derry, New Hampshire, school lunch sales are up 17 percent since the school
district asked kids what they want to eat.  To official's surprise, students
mostly requested healthful items like salad bars and fresh fruit.

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