Subject: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! (repeat as necessary) Date: Tue, 3 Sep 1996 08:39:42 -0400 Ok, I've been meaning to do this for a while; this morning I finally did. This is a message that came through on one of my mailing lists; I've taken the liberty of TRANSLATING IT from what it APPEARED TO BE SAYING to what it ACTUALLY SAID. I hope everyone finds this translation to be useful, or at least amusing. -packy, Editor-in-the-Round, PackyHumor p.s. Gene, I eagerly await your 10Mb of zeros... ==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY== Date: Sun, 1 Sep 1996 21:29:09 GMT From: Heli Piolet To: Recipients of LANWORKS Subject: Spam! Taking 5 minutes to read this text may be one of the best decisions you ever made. My name is not important. What is important is what happened to me. On 9 June 1996, I saw an article in an Internet Newsgroup telling me I could get flooded with nasty e-mail within 4 hours for an investment of only one message. I thought it was a huge joke! I spoke to my friends about it and they thought likewise. I thought that I had nothing to loose, so sent one e-mail message asking for hate-mail to every mailing list and newsgroup I could post to. Two hours later, I started receiving nasty messages via e-mail! I could not believe it! Hundreds of messages turned into thousands, and in the 4 hours, I received a total of 53,586. They came from all over the world. If you follow the 3 simple steps below, there is no reason whatsoever why the same shouldn't happen to you. This is a completely illegitimate spamming opportunity. You invest one message and you can receive megabytes of hate-mail as return on your investment. So does the next investor. NOT ILLEGAL (Yet. -ed), NOT A CHAIN LETTER (Yeah, right. -ed) -- PERFECTLY ILLEGITIMATE! OBVIOUSLY, IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED, THEN DON'T PARTICIPATE. BUT PLEASE PRINT THIS ARTICLE AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO MAY WISH TO TAKE ADVANTAGE. The procedure is very simple. STEP 1. Get an e-mail account from some fly-by-night provider, who'll be so happy that they have a customer that they won't bother to find out that you're using a phoney name and postal address. STEP 2. Copy this article in it's entirety into a fresh mail message, and change parts of it to read, "I'm an Idiot!" or "I want to incur the wrath of millions of netizens!" STEP 3. Post your amended article to at least 200 new groups (there are well over 17,000 of them). You are now in the E-Mail Spamming Business and you will start receiving hate-mail and flames via e-mail within an hour or two. The more newsgroups you post to, the bigger your return will be. Some people have said to me "What happens if the scheme is 'played out' and no one sends me any hate-mail?" Big deal! So you lose one message--but what are the chances of that happening? Do you realize how many Internet Users there are? Do you realize how many times this scheme can be utilized over and over again -- with COMPLETELY NEW people participating? Remember, read the instructions carefully and play FAIRLY...that's the only way this will work. Get a printout so you can refer back to this article easily. Try to keep a list of everyone that sends you money and always keep an eye on the newsgroup postings to make sure everyone is playing fairly. You know where your name should be. REMEMBER - HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. ENJOY! ==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==PARODY==