Subject: Helping troubled screens...
Date: Tue, 1 Oct 1996 12:37:20 -0400

This actually came through on one of the mailing lists I'm on,
OPEN-VMS-SIG@DECUS.Org:
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At 09:47 PM 09/30/96 +0000, you wrote:
>We have a VAXstation 4000-60 with a color monitor.  It used to do color 
>when it was running Decwindows and VMS 5.5-1.  Now that it has been 
>upgraded to VMS 6.2 and Motif 1.2-3, it thinks it's monochrome and it 
>attempting to do grayscale with the green line.  The result is a green 
>screen with a retro-Tek-4014 look.

That's sort of trendy....but sounds like your monitor may have experienced a
flashback to primordial days. Silicon is silicon, after all.

>Anyone know how we can convince it that 
>it can do color again?
>

Try pep talks and then a little one-on-one counseling.

You might want to use a box of crayons to demonstrate what you expect of the
monitor. Some monitors learn easier and faster if you let them try things on
their own.

I have had a lot of success by placing a monitor which is operational next
to the "stroked out" monitor and let the failing monitor learn by observation.

If all else fails, quit your job and become a drifter or a comedy writer
specializing in high-tech humor. I did, and I'm as happy as anyone could
ever want to be. I got a "900" line and I just taped my first infomercial
regarding high-tech comedy writing. My program is only $79.95 and I show you
how to write comedy using money and words from other people. Become rich in
a few short weeks using no words of your own! Here's an example.:

        Using the following words create a high-tech joke punchline.:

                monitor
                color
                green
                VAXstation
                Motif
                DECwindows
                VMS and
                TEK 4014

Go ahead, try it. It doesn't take much effort and you'll be surprised how
easy it is. Sorry, I can't reveal my entire program in this single e-mail
response. And, I don't want to spoil your creativity by assembling a
punchline from the words above. But once you use my program you'll never go
back to using your own words to be a rich and famous high-tech comedy writer.
    
It's easy and fast using our supplied word lists*.

I was near bankruptcy when I discovered the secrets of high-tech comedy
writing. I want you to be as successful as I am! Call or e-mail today!

        419-448-0100 Ext. 6406

        high-tech-comedy-course@myexpense-wearing.cement-clothes.com

Regards,

Mr. Chips
High-Tech Humorist

Custom Engagements are Scaleable to Your Needs
Send for Packet of Data
Hold Our Humor to a Higher Standard
We'll Monitor Your Progress
Write On!


>Thanks.

No Problem!


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( *Over 200,000 words are provided in an alphabetized, book format complete
with definitions, usage examples and synonyms. Some words are illustrated
for your convenience. )
=============================================

(It was another one of those days at the office! The above writing exercise
was cathartic. Thank you for listening!)

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