Subject: Vocabulary
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 1996 01:01:43 -0400

Sharon Zohar writes:

                           EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY!

   PETONIC (peh ton' ik)
   adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

   ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)
   adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

   AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)
   adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with
   your toes.

   AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)
   n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its
   perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
   nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

   BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)
   n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself
   through the grill into the coals.

   CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
   n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of
   lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
   examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more
   chance.

   DIMP (dimp)
   n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do
   you work here?"

   DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')
   v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing
   on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.

   ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)
   n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

   EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)
   n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter
   what direction you lean in, follow suit.

   ELBONICS (el bon' iks)
   n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie
   theater.

   ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)
   n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the
   faster it will arrive.

   LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)
   n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that
   one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

   NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)
   n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

   PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')
   n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be
   walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

   PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh)
   n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you
   were calling just as they answer.

   TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)
   n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you
   pick it up, even when you're only six centimeters away.

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