Subject: Fill out in triplicate
Date: Fri, 20 Dec 1996 20:42:31 -0500

From: Paul Frederick Schnellbecher
<pauless@rahul.net> (via Gene Gregor)
Subject: BUREAUCRATIC XMAS GREETZ

=================================================================
          XMAS CAROLS TRANSLATED INTO BUREAUCRATIC JARGON
=================================================================

[ Translations follow the 'straight' titles. ]

 1.  O Come All Ye Faithful
 2.  Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
 3.  Silent Night
 4.  Joy to the World
 5.  Deck the Halls
 6.  Angels We Have Heard on High
 7.  It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
 8.  The First Noel
 9.  O Little Town of Bethlehem
10.  Little Drummer Boy
11.  God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
12.  Frosty the Snowman
13.  Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
14.  I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas
15.  O Holy Night
16.  Winter Wonderland
17.  We Three Kings
18.  Jingle Bells
19.  Away in a Manger
20.  Go Tell It On the Mountain
21.  We Wish You a Merry Christmas

 1.  Move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal
     in their belief.

 2.  Listen, the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds.

 3.  Nocturnal time span of unbroken quietness.

 4.  An emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good
     give to the terrestrial sphere.

 5.  Embellish the interior passageways.

 6.  Exalted heavenly beings to whom harkened from above.

 7.  Twelve o'clock on a clement night witnessed its arrival.

 8.  The Christmas preceding all others.

 9.  Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem.

10.  Diminutive masculine master of skin-covered percussionistic
     cylinders.

11.  Omnipotent supreme being who relaxes into ecstasy
     distinguished males.

12.  Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of
     minute crystals.

13.  Expectation of arrival to populated area by mythical,
     masculine perennial gift-giver.

14.  Natal Celebration devoid of color, rather albino, as a
     hallucinatory phenomenon for me.

15.  In awe of the nocturnal time span characterized by
     religiosity.

16.  Geographic state of fantasy during the season of Mother
     Nature's dormancy.

17.  The first person nominative plural of a triumvirate of Far
     eastern heads of state.

18.  Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted,
     metallic, resonant cups.

19.  In a distant location, the existence of an improvised unit
     of newborn children's slumber furniture.

20.  Proceed forth declaring upon a specific geological Alpine
     formation.

21.  Jovial Yuletide desired for the second person singular or
     plural by us.