This is just TOO rich... I needed to pass this on. And, of course, coming on the heels of 'Idiot Week', it was *so* apropos

The Curse of Frankenchicken

Dateline: 01/05/00
Updated: 01/13/00

The hottest Net rumor of the new year warns that if you buy a meal at a KFC restaurant you won't exactly get what you bargained for. It may look like fried chicken and taste like fried chicken, but it's actually a "genetically manipulated organism" so different from the real animal that the company can't legally call it "chicken."

According to the forwarded email circulating since early December, Kentucky Fried Chicken had to change its brand to "KFC" for the same reason.

Executives at KFC headquarters who've seen the rumor are aghast at the possibility that some people might be taking it seriously. When I asked Michael Tierney, KFC's director of public affairs, if there's any truth to it, he said, "Of course not."

He added: "Any thinking adult would know it's absolutely absurd."

Well, okay. But -- for perspective -- we are talking about the Internet, where just last year tens of thousands of users besieged Honda's corporate Website with inquiries about an email promising free cars (http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blhonda.htm) to everyone who clicked their "Forward" button. Colette Janson-Sand, Associate Professor of Nutrition at the University of New Hampshire (where research on KFC's products was allegedly conducted), says her department has received numerous phone calls about the chicken rumor, some of them "hysterical." The university has published a rebuttal (http://www.unh.edu/BoilerPlate/kfc.html) labeling the rumor a hoax. Tierney pointed out to me (and it was easily verifiable) that KFC * which officially dumped its "Kentucky Fried Chicken" logo 9 years ago to emphasize product variety * still uses the word "chicken" ubiquitously in its advertising. Remember the TV commercial jingle, "We Do Chicken Right!"? That's KFC. The company's Website, accessible at both http://kfc.com and http://kentuckyfriedchicken.com, makes reference to chicken on virtually every page. In spite of the fact that one of its two major allegations is so effortlessly disproven, the email rumor (example below) is enjoying a phenomenal circulation just now.

Subject: Boycott KFC

KFC has been a part of our American traditions for many years. Many people, day in and day out, eat at KFC religiously. Do they really know what they are eating?

During a recent study of KFC done at the University of New Hampshire, they found some very upsetting facts. First of all, has anybody noticed that just recently the company has changed their name? Kentucky Fried Chicken has become KFC. Does anybody know why? We thought the real reason was because of the "FRIED" food issue. It's not. The reason why they call it KFC is because they can not use the word chicken anymore. Why? KFC does not use real chickens. They actually use genetically manipulated organisms.

These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure. They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them. This is great for KFC because they do not have to pay so much for their production costs. There is no more plucking of the feathers or the removal of the beaks and feet.

The government has told them to change all of their menus so they do not say chicken anywhere. If you look closely you will notice this. Listen to their commercials, I guarantee you will not see or hear the word chicken. I find this matter to be very disturbing. I hope people will start to realize this and let other people know.

Please forward this message to as many people as you can. Together we make KFC start using real chicken again.

From Wormburgers to Frankenfoods

Going back further, another version claimed that KFC genetically engineers mutant birds with 4 or more legs (drumsticks) apiece, thus increasing profitability. Reader Edwin Gore contributed this sighting:

"I heard the KFC story verbally in England back in 1995 while traveling there on business. It was slightly different, though... instead of being legless, the chickens in this story were being bred with 6 legs each, thereby providing additional drumsticks per chicken! Other than that it was the same story, with the KFC name change taking place because the British government would not let them use the word chicken."

Legends about fast food restaurant chains -- and KFC in particular -- are nothing new, as evidenced by the infamous "Kentucky Fried Rat" story, which has made the rounds for decades. The current premise -- a company secretly purveying genetically altered food -- is closest in type to the familiar claim that some fast food chains use worm meat instead of beef in their recipes because it's (allegedly) cheaper. The popularity of such tall tales is attributable to the public's reservations about the quality of fast food restaurants and its distrust of large corporations in general.

It's probably no coincidence that the theme of genetically engineered food hit the Internet rumor mill so close on the heels of the World Trade Organization summit in Seattle last November. "Frankenfoods" were a hot and controversial topic there. Public awareness of the issue is still slight, but growing (see Rick Hall's article, Genetically Modified Foods, for a nutritionist's perspective).

Meanwhile, KFC stands falsely accused and reaffirms the quality of its product. "After all, we buy our chickens from the very same sources that ordinary consumers do," notes Michael Tierney with more than a hint of aggravation. "We just buy a lot more of them."

I'm no scientist, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the very idea of producing genetically altered, intravenously fed chickens without feathers, beaks, or feet is pure science fiction. We're asked to believe that KFC could save money by doing this. But according to the company's own statistics, it sells 581 million birds a year; by what stretch of the imagination could it be cheaper to grow that many "organisms" in a lab than to purchase them from existing sources? How big must those facilities be?

Lastly, pardon me for being naive, but somebody's going to have to explain to me how these creatures reproduce. I know this begs an ancient philosophical question, but which came first: the genetically manipulated organism or the egg?

Relevant links:

Kentucky Fried Chicken Hoax
http://www.unh.edu/BoilerPlate/kfc.html
University of New Hampshire's response

KFC History
http://www.kfc.com/COLONEL/briefhst.htm
The rise of Colonel Sanders' empire

When Pigs Fly
http://nutrition.about.com/health/nutrition/library/weekly/aa122099b.htm
From About.com's Nutrition Guide, a creepy glimpse at what can be accomplished with bioengineering

More Food & Drink Folklore
http://urbanlegends.about.com/msubfood.htm
A hand-picked selection of Net Links