Subject: This year's just dragon along...
Date: Fri, Feb 18 2000 00:00:02 EST
This year's just dragon along...
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
Oracle most wise,
What events will herald this upcoming Year of the Dragon?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
As the year of the Rabbit withers in the garden of the great Chinese
Zodiac, the year of the Dragon blooms forth in a splendid array of
animated glee.
Finally, the long forgotten Puff, the magic Dragon, will be
recognized as he should, by being displayed on lunch boxes, backpacks,
and Trapper Keeper portfolio folders.
Falkor, the luck dragon of Neverending Story fame, will rise like a
phoenix, but will still be called "that flying puppy dog."
The dragon from "Tic Tac Dough" will resurface, and steal prizes
from unsuspecting "Wheel of Fortune" contestants. Pat Sajak will lose
a finger while battling him.
"Enter the Dragon", starring Bruce Lee, will be digitally
remastered, and distributed on DVD. It will eventual outsell "Titanic."
The character Peter Dragon, from the ill-fated Fox show "Action",
will do a guest shot on "Everybody Loves Raymond", but that's about it.
"Dragonball Z" will be shown on Cartoon Network all year, with a
special marathon in August. It will also replace the "Peanuts" comic
strip in most locales.
The games "Dragon's Lair", "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons", "Double
Dragon", and "Dragon Warrior", will see a sharp increase in sales.
"Pokemon" will finally find its demise.
International Mahjongg rules will change, giving the Dragon suit a
higher point value. In response, the Bicycle playing card company
will add the suit to its 52 card decks, replacing the seldom used
Clubs suit.
Next year, when the year of the Snake occurs, be on the lookout for
unexpected events, such as "Anaconda" being re-released in theaters.
You owe the Oracle one of the heads of Hydra. And a fortune cookie.