[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]
| 15> | The pre-nuptial agreement is one sentence long: "She can't have the tractor." |
| 14> | The lineup of your bridesmaids dazzled him because he'd never seen so many women with all their teeth before. |
| 13> | Every other weekend, six oafs in suits stop by to re-break his thumbs. |
| 12> | He's never adequately explained why he can't get The Club off the steering wheel of his Mercedes. |
| 11> | His reading library consists of nothing but Tony Robbins and Don Lapree books. |
| 10> | When you ask, "Penny for your thoughts?", he insists on seeing the money up front. |
| 9> | The reception meal? "Le Elbow Pasta a Fromage Orange", "Chop Beof Helpier", and "Ice d'Italien" for dessert. |
| 8> | His collection of antique cars seems to be rusting to death in the front yard. |
| 7> | When you say "I do," Regis replies, "Is that your final answer?" |
| 5> | The limo makes a stop between the church and the reception to drop a coffin off at the cemetery. |
| 4> | The only time he dabbles in "mutual funds" is when he fishes in your purse. |
| 3> | The reason that wallet's so fat? Hundreds of coupons for 15 cents off Dinty Moore Stew. |
| 2> | List of assets: a home in Tijuana, 48605 free AOL minutes, original Pokemon Jigglypuff card. |
| 1> | He may look like Bill Gates and sound like Bill Gates, but he just bought a new iMac for his dorm room. |
The reason "Dieting Makes You Fat!" is because it takes a whole pound of Godivas and a quart of milk to wash the taste of a single Slim-Fast drink out of your mouth.
(Michelle Argabrite)
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