Nan Quick got this one from the "giggles@listserv.vt.edu" list back in May 1997.
"This train doesn't stop at Victoria, its the express," replied the conductor.
"You're joking!" the man exclaimed. "I NEED to get off at Victoria!"
"Sorry, sir, this train will not stop at Victoria."
The man was obviously distressed. "There must be something you can do."
"Well," said the conductor musingly, "there is one thing."
"What? Anything! I need to get off."
"Well, I'll get the driver to slow down and I'll dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform."
"My God! Will that work?"
"Its worth a try."
As the train approached the platform, it slowed down to 50 mph. The conductor hung the man out the door, and the man started running in midair. "Run faster! Run faster!" the conductor called out as he lowered the man onto the platform.
Smoke flew from the man's shoes as he touched down and his heel came off. The conductor let go and the man ran for his life, slowing down all the time. 30mph... 25mph... other passengers watched in amazement at the man ran alongside the train at 20 miles per hour.
As the last carriage went by a hand emerged from the train and grabbed the man by the shirt collar, lifting him back onto the train. As he was pulled back into the carriage he heard a voice say, "You're lucky I was here to help. This train doesn't even stop at Victoria."