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Selected-By: "Leo L. Schwab" <ewhac@best.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.

Your question was:

O Oracle most wise,
My girlfriend's birthday is coming soon, and I haven't picked out a present yet. Should I get something she wants, or something she needs?

Gentle supplicant,

You would be best advised to split the difference and buy her something she wants to need (even if she doesn't want to need it just now). For example, smash her toilet a week before her birthday, and then present her with a new one with a big red bow attached.

Alternatively, you could buy her something she needs to want; for instance, pay all her friends to brag about their eggbeaters; to be able to compete, she'll end up needing to want one.

Of course, you could take the whole gift to the next metaphysical level, and buy her something she wants to need to want, or something she needs to want to need.

Do not, under any circumstance, confuse your needs with her wants and vice versa. She really does NOT want that electric staple gun you need. Furthermore, she doesn't need that big-screen toaster you want.

You owe the Oracle a need. I want one.