Subject: Top5 - Surprises In The Human Genome Map
Date: Fri, Jul 7 2000 00:00:02 EDT

THE TOP FIVE LIST
Now Elian-free!
PackyHumor Note: as usual, not all of the Top5 list was mom safe, but enough of it passed muster that I felt I had to send out an expugated list.
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Two research centers recently announced that they have sketched a map detailing the secrets of human genetic structure (our DNA). This will usher in a new era of gene-based medicine and disease treatment.
The Top 10 Surprises In The Human Genome Map

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]

10>The map hasn't yet been updated to reflect the breakup of the former Yugoslavia.
9>The DNA of males contains three identical sets of Nitrase/Ytranine/Ultrase/Kitanine -- or as they're written chemically: NYUK, NYUK, NYUK.
8>Ironically, the "Waldo" gene was the easiest to find.
7>The blue gene exists in 3 genotypes: Straight Leg, Loose Fit and Button-Fly.
6>Tiny villages of Hobbits actually live in our DNA and produce minute quantities of wool -- which we've been ignorantly referring to as "navel lint" and throwing away for centuries.
5>It's nearly impossible to re-fold it along the original creases.
4>Cleanliness is *not* next to godliness -- it's actually between obsessive neatness and anal retentiveness.
3>94% of the male population have either the "Unable To Repress Cheesy Jack Nicholson Impression" gene or the "Jumping Up To Touch The Awning" gene.
2>Beer-drinking gene conveniently located next to bathroom-locating gene.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Surprise In The Human Genome Map...
1>Now that there's a map, male scientists will attempt to cure diseases by randomly throwing stuff into beakers, stubbornly refusing to use the map or ask for directions -- all the while insisting the cure is right around the next corner.
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