Another bit taken from Good Clean Fun.

Signs the Car You Just Bought is a Lemon

1. - As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.
2. - You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a direct line to Moes's Towing Company.
3. - The booster cables are not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery.
4. - The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.
5. - The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed.
6. - You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner.
7. - As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door to the service bay and waves you in.
8. - When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway. As you drive by, it silently falls in behind you.
9. - The little "Service Engine" warning signal in the dashboard comes on and reads "It's Me Again."

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