Subject: If the Phone Company Ran a Restaurant
Date: Fri, Aug 4 2000 00:00:03 EDT

If The Phone Company Ran A Restaurant

Posted on rec.humor.funny by meta@pobox.com (mathew)

BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT
1095 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036
800-621-9900

      BELL ATLANTIC RESTAURANT SERVICES 

     Cod steak                     $8.17 
     French fries                  $2.01 
     Peas                          $1.40 

     Limited Meal Service         $30.85 

     Knife                         $0.60 
     Fork                          $3.17 
     Metal Cutlery With Handles    $6.20 
     Table Access Charge           $1.19 
     Chair Maintenance Plan        $2.95 
     Menu Listing Service          $0.49 
     Bell Atlantic Condiments and 
        Sauces (detail below)      $1.11 

     Federal Fish Tax              $0.62 
     Local Menu Readability        $0.23 

     TOTAL                        $58.99 

       ITEMIZED CONDIMENTS AND SAUCES 

With Limited Meal Service you pay a fixed 
nightly rate for air and water at your table. 
Consult your menu for condiment and sauce rates. 

Item     Number of ml    Rate per ml   Amount 
Ketchup       10            0.03        0.30 
Salt          1             0.01        0.01 
Tartare       20            0.04        0.80 
Total                                   1.11