The Internet Oracle takes a philosophical bent.
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Selected-By: Kirsten Chevalier <mchevalier@WELLESLEY.EDU>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

What is dielectric materialism?

Dielectric materialism is, as those of us in the know like to say, the bastard child of quantitative metathesis and corroborative nuclear scaling theory. Ha ha ha! Get it?

<Pause.>

I see. Well, supplicant, perhaps I ought to explain it this way:

Pretend you have an egg. The egg represents Truth and Value. Now, pretend you have a Teflon-coated frying pan. The pan represents reality, the Teflon represents self-recognition, and the handle represents the possibility of God. Admittedly, the handle is simultaneously extant and non-extant, which creates problems when flipping Truth out of Reality and frying Value, but we'll get to that when we do.

Now we put Reality onto the Furnace of the Universe, and apply Truth to it. Separated by Self-recognition and Reality from the Universe, Truth bubbles only slightly, signifying an indirect and presently indeterminate change in its capacity to exist. Now, using God we remove Reality briefly from the Universe, and flip Truth into Value, which will now begin bubbling more loudly. As Self-recognition has probably worn away by this point (as Reality was quite cheap, having been bought at Wal-Mart for $4.85), Value is applied diectly to Reality, resulting in flames and loud spurts of Value and Truth out of Reality and directly onto the Universe, which loud fizzing begins, spurting flaming droplets of Truth and Reality onto God, and causing the Unmoved Mover wielding Reality (by way of God) to shriek in unbelieveable pain while the reast of Truth and Value burns into the Charcoal of Damnation in the middle of a Reality devoid of Self-recognition.

Now the Unmoved Mover will probably lose his or her grip on God and drop Him on the floor, splattering Truth, etc., everywhere, coating the Kitchen of Redemption in Damnation, and restoring the Universe and its vicinity to its original state of Chaos.

This process, which you can see demonstrated nearly daily in the rooms of Bachelors of Clumsiness everywhere in the world, is often referred to as dielectric materialism.

You owe the Oracle some scrambled Truth, or perhaps some Value sunny-side up.