Subject: Eternal Happiness
Date: Sat, Sep 9 2000 00:00:02 EDT

Bob Brunner saw this happen during his last near-death experience...

A father, a lawyer and an HMO President all died and went to the pearly gates to receive their judgment.

"So," Saint Peter said to the father, "what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" The dad explained that he was devoted to his wife and children, and that he supported them both financially and emotionally. St. Peter said, "well, that's pretty good. Come on in."

Saint Peter then asked the lawyer, "what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" The lawyer explained that, even though she wasn't perfect, she devoted her life to defending the helpless. Saint Peter thought for a bit, then said, "well, nobody's perfect," and let her in.

Finally, Saint Peter asked the HMO president, "what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" "Well," said the HMO president, "I've provided affordable healthcare for all who need it," he said.

Saint Peter thought for a bit, then said, "OK, but you can only stay here two days."