Signs Your Pet is an Alien

Subject: Signs Your Pet is an Alien
Date: Sat, Oct 7 2000 00:00:03 EDT

T H E - T O P - F I V E - L I S T

The Top 17 Signs Your Pet is an Alien from Space

17 -	Carefully spoons "Tang" into the toilet before he drinks out of it.
16 -	Last month's bill had $135 worth of unexplained long distance calls to David Duchovny's cell phone.
15 -	The scratches in your sofa look suspiciously like crop circles.
14 -	Most dogs: sit, stay, roll over. Your dog: levitate, balance checkbook, help Junior with calculus homework.
13 -	"Polly wants a crollop of phylixinis... Polly wants an Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator..."
12 -	Always arranges his Kibble 'N' Bits in the shape of the Andromeda Galaxy.
11 -	Shares your intense hatred of all earthlings.
10 -	Fido wakes you up every morning by bursting out through your abdomen.
9 -	When your son faked throwing a stick, Fido vaporized him.
8 -	Fluffy keeps urging you to vote for Pat Buchanan.
7 -	Rover has an irresistible fascination with airborne plastic replicas of flying saucers.
6 -	Instead of sniffing the butts of other dogs, your pooch uses mind-control to get you to do it and report back.
5 -	As far as you know, Sigourney Weaver never fried anyone else's cat with a flame-thrower.
4 -	It can't be coincidence that your whenever your rottweiler takes a dump, it's in the shape of Devil's Tower in Wyoming.
3 -	You find pieces of the missing Mars landers buried in your back yard.
2 -	Not only catches the chuckwagon running across the kitchen floor, but administers an anal probe to the driver.
	and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Pet is an Alien from Space...
1 -	Constantly using the Vulcan leg hump to render the postman unconscious.

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