[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]
| 14 | - He keeps asking where would you like to be buried when the time comes "just out of curiosity." |
| 13 | - Instead of spare change, you've been finding bullets between the sofa cushions. |
| 12 | - Bogarts the remote every time "Unsolved Mysteries" or "America's Most Wanted" is on. |
| 11 | - Charles Manson got a restraining order against her. |
| 10 | - He laughs at all the wrong parts in Silence of the Lambs. |
| 9 | - Even her "Be back soon!" notes are made from cut-up magazine letters. |
| 8 | - He's a 350-pound neo-Nazi S&M freak, and he and your fiancee are insisting you appear with them on "The Jerry Springer Show." |
| 7 | - She's already irritable because her condescending, judgmental, hypocritical style really hasn't carried over that well from radio to TV -- but just wait until she finds out you're the one who sold those old nude photos of her. |
| 6 | - Some people from The Hague just called to ask if you've seen him. |
| 5 | - Her religion requires one virgin sacrifice each year, and you're a TopFive Contributor. |
| 4 | - Gets very defensive when you ask him why he bought a vat of formaldehyde. |
| 3 | - The voices in her head are so loud even you can hear them. |
| 2 | - O.J. catches him in bed with his girlfriend and just tiptoes out of the room quietly. |
| and Topfive.com's Number 1 Reason To Be Afraid Of Your Roommate... | |
| 1 | - All the utilities are in your name. |
When life gives you lemons, make lemon beer.
(Katie Munson)
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