[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]
| 15 | - Vote tabulation has to be restarted every time someone spots a squirrel. |
| 14 | - Lots of growling whenever someone mentions that Gore is a vet. |
| 13 | - Although not on the ballot, Perot still lands 100% of "yappy little dog vote." |
| 12 | - "What's that, Lassie? You say Grandpa Tim might have accidentally voted for Buchanan? Good catch, girl!" |
| 11 | - Debates preceded by a few minutes sniffing Jim Lehrer's butt. |
| 10 | - Entire election thrown into chaos when it's alleged that thousands of voters *appeared* to throw ballots into box but actually just hid them behind their backs. |
| 9 | - Voters even more easily distracted by butterfly ballots. |
| 8 | - Before the hand recount, Ralph Nader caught rubbing bacon grease next to his name on all the ballots. |
| 7 | - "Exit Polling" just a fancy name for butt sniffing. |
| 6 | - In Pit Bull County, hand counts are taken literally. |
| 5 | - "Mr. Candidate, please respond to the question: Do you wanna go to the park? Huh? Huh? Wanna catch the ball?" |
| 4 | - No difference at all: Either way, you end up with a steaming pile of democracy! |
| 3 | - Looking for an edge, Al Gore changes his name to Al Po. |
| 2 | - "And if you elect me president, I promise to execute Mariah Carey." |
| and Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference if the Election Were Run by Dogs... | |
| 1 | - Palm Beach ballots confusing? Time to put grandma to sleep. |
Well, this has been a pretty good month for me so far: a vacation with my girlfriend, some successes at work, and I got 817 votes in the Presidential balloting in Florida.(Jeffrey T. Anbinder)
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