Subject: Army Tactics
Date: Thu, Dec 28 2000 00:00:01 EST

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Army Tactics

During an Army war game a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud.

The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. "Sorry sir," said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."

The C.O. turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."

Calling All Police

A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, I heard the dispatcher say, "Car 34, there is a five-foot boa constrictor in a front yard. The resident wants a policeman to come and remove it."

There was a long pause, then some static. Slowly, a voice said, "We can't get the car started."

Did I say that?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"


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