Subject: Harlez-Vous Francais?
Date: Sat, Feb 17 2001 00:00:02 EST

Jeff Victor got this from Keren Schlomy, and he thinks this is probably the funniest thing he's seen this year...

The following were the winners of a New York magazine contest in which contestants were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression.
HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS
Can you drive a French motorcycle?

IDIOS AMIGOS
We're wild and crazy guys!

VENI, VIPI, VICI
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.

COGITO EGGO SUM
I think; therefore I waffle.

RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead.

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you're Scottish.

QUE SERA SERF
Life is feudal.

LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI
The king is dead. No kidding.

POSH MORTEM
Death styles of the rich and famous.

PRO BOZO PUBLICO
Support your local clown (or politician, your call)

MONAGE A TROIS
I am three years old.

FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat.

HASTE CUISINE
Fast French food.

VENI, VIDI, VICE
I came, I saw, I partied.

QUIP PRO QUO
Fast retort.

ALOHA OY
Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you would never know.

MAZEL TON
Tons of luck

VISA LA FRANCE
Don't leave your chateau without it.

AMICUS PURIAE
Platonic friend.

L'ETAT, C'EST MOO
I'm bossy around here.

COGITO, ERGO SPUD
I think, therefore I Yam. (OK, more than one letter.)

VENI, VIDI, VELCRO
I came, I saw, I stuck around. (OK, another exception)

ICH BIT EIN BERLINER
He deserved it.

ZITGEIST
The Clearasil doesn't quite cover it up.

E PLURIBUS ANUM
Out of any group, there's always one asshole.

NOMO ARIGATO
No thanks to you.

PackyHumor Note: All this reminds me of the time my friend Amy was teaching me to swear in Spanish. I proudly shot off one of the new phrases she'd taught me, but Amy just looked at me quizzically. "My mother is a pocket bread?" she said...

OK, so I said, "Su madre es un Pita."