When Keren Schlomy sent this to Jeff Victor, he read it and said, "Deeeep. Very deep. Then shallow. Then deep again."
| 1. | Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. |
| 2. | The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. |
| 3. | It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. |
| 4. | Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. |
| 5. | We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. |
| 6. | Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. |
| 7. | Never test the depth of the water with both feet. |
| 8. | It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. |
| 9. | It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. |
| 10. | If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. |
| 11. | Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. |
| 12. | If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| 13. | Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. |
| 14. | If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. |
| 15. | Don't squat with your spurs on. |
| 16. | If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. |
| 17. | If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people. |
| 18. | Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield. |
| 19. | Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. |
| 20. | The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. |
| 21. | Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. |
| 22. | A closed mouth gathers no foot. |
| 23. | Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. |
| 24. | Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving. |
| 25. | Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. |
| 26. | Never miss a good chance to shut up. |