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Internet Oracle. Some hate it, but I love it.
--- 1224-02 ---
Selected-By: "Mark Lawrence (lawrence.4@osu.edu)" <mtlrph@excite.com&;gt;
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
It's humor, Jim, but not as we know it.And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Captain: And that bit of metal there?
Science Officer: It seems to be a nail. It is no more alive than the horse over there the Captain is kicking. This nail seems to be from the door of that glass house there.
Bones: It's a dead Jim. Dead as this doornail.
[ Captain gives horse one last kick. Then runs over to the others. ]
Captain: A house? And but a stone's throw away. Speaking of which, have you noticed the rocks here? I think who ever lived in that house threw them out here.
Bones: A glass house dwelling being wouldn't have thrown stones Jim.
Science Officer: Logical. I was about to mention it myself. Note too the stones are as immobile as they are moss covered.
Bones: Damn Spock, of course they have moss, they're not rolling!
[ Science Officer picks up a stick and motions at the rocks, then stops abruptly. ]
Science Officer: There's more rocks than I can...
Bones: Shake a stick at? I don't like the looks of this!
Captain: Look, something is coming out of the ground!
Bones: Worms, they've turned!
Science Officer: It can't be worms, those birds got them.
Bones: Well, that one that got her first did.
Science Officer: The doctor should not have opened that can.
Bones: How was I to know it was full of worms?!
Captain: Look at the ground. There not worms, they're flowers. Everywhere. And at a rate that is astounding! Small yellow flowers with dark centers. I think we'll be okay.
Science Officer: Because everything is coming up flowers? That is not logical.
Captain: Well, the soil is startlingly fertile what with the half eaten bodies of dogs all over this world.
Bones: A dog eat dog world, who would have imagined it.
Captain: I think I am beginning to understand. This world it, it... this world... it's....
Science Officer: I do believe there's something on your tongue sir!
Bones: Spit it out Jim!
[ The captain touches the tip of his tongue with his crude iron prosthetic. ]
Captain: Heavens! I have the answer!
Science Officer: The answer was on the tip of your tongue?
Bones: Egad! Over there look!
[ They both look up suddenly, startled by the appearance on the horizon of a large woman, singing. The captain turns to the Science officer, a tear wells up in his good eye.]
Captain: It's over.