| 15>
| Picard and an Away Team beam down and phaser it into rubble,
mistaking it for a Borg laboratory. |
| 14>
| Somewhere behind all the boxes, Anne Heche and the
neighborhood cats are hissing at each other. |
| 13>
| Your annual method of letting it spontaneously catch on fire
and sweeping out the ash is ticking off the fire department. |
| 12>
| The Vatican has shown a strong interest in the Shroud of
Bob's Garage. |
| 11>
| It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on
"BattleBots." |
| 10>
| President Bush has ID'd the oil stains on the floor as an
alternate energy source. |
| 9>
| I don't care what mortgage company you use, they're not going
to ask for paycheck stubs from anything earlier than the
Eisenhower administration. |
| 8>
| After tunneling for two days, you found the fridge and
downed a cold "Billy" beer. |
| 7>
| The fertilizer for your marijuana plants keeps
cross-contaminating your meth lab. |
| 6>
| Environmentalists picket in your driveway to save the
old-growth cobwebs. |
| 5>
| You have 12 leaf rakes with a total of 19 tines. |
| 4>
| Your missing son emerges twelve years after disappearing with
a tale of being raised by boxes and old exercise equipment. |
| 3>
| The scorpions in the corners have matured to the point where
they've released the inevitable "power ballad." |
| 2>
| Cockroaches won't go in there without 12 pairs of tiny rubber
gloves on. |
| | and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your Garage Needs to be Cleaned... |
| 1>
| Giant pile of lawn jockeys makes it nearly impossible to get
to your "Hall & Oates" records. |