More Oracularities. Only Tolkien readers will get this.
--- 1228-03 ---
Selected-By: "Leo L. Schwab" <ewhac@best.com>
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
Oh Oracle most wise, What will be the biggest surprises when "The Lord of The Rings" film is released?And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
| 10. | The Religious Right will be out in force to condemn the evils of cohobbitation. |
| 9. | Martha Stewart will have a special on what to do with all your leftover lembas. |
| 8. | The same no-life looneytune who created a programming language for Klingons will announce his own hacked version of MacOS localized for Sindarin. |
| 7. | Read the f'n ShadowFAQ. |
| 6. | Nursery rhymes will become mysteriously longer. |
| 5. | New flavors at Ben and Jerry's: Frodo Fudge, Sauron Patch Kids, Bilboberry. |
| 4. | Rosie O'Donnell starts referring to Ring Dings as "My Preciouses". |
| 3. | The US Army Rangers get an even bigger case on themselves. |
| 2. | Forests finally get fed up and literally walk picket lines until loggers give up. |
| And the number one big surprise when the LoTR movies come out... | |
| 1. | One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all, And in the darkness bind them... but no smokers/weirdos, be discreet, and only if you're serious, box 1138. |