Subject: Top5 - Signs You're Attending a Party School
Date: Sun, Sep 2 2001 00:00:08 -0400

T H E - T O P - F I V E - L I S T
What Would Ralph Do?
A recent survey listed the top "party schools"
among the nation's colleges. The top 5 were:

            5> University of Colorado
            4> Florida State
            3> University of California at Santa Cruz
            2> Louisiana State University
            1> University of Tennessee
"But Chris," you ask, "How can I tell
if *my* college is a party school?"

The Top 14 Signs You're Attending a Party School

14> Only three people show up to the 9:00 am Biology class -- and they all bring Scotch.
13> The med school just won the Nobel Prize for discovering a hangover cure.
12> Crowds at football games are entertained by the sideline antics of the mascot in a giant foam-rubber Charlie Sheen costume.
11> They let you redeem Mardi Gras beads for classroom credit.
10> Calculus final exam problem begins with: "One hundred bottles of beer on the wall..."
9> Tuition: $3,250; Books: $510; Bail: $17,900
8> Your school's Alcohol Awareness Counselor: Bud Miller.
7> You can work your way off Academic Probation by chugging a sixer of Meister Brau in front of the Dean.
6> All of the triple-beam scales have been liberated from the Chemistry lab.
5> You're chosen as commencement speaker at your own graduation because you can recite the entire Greek alphabet in one burp.
4> Jell-O shots are half price during Sunday morning chapel services.
3> Question 4 on the Admissions application: "You're not a cop, are you?"
2> Someone seems to have taken the alcohol used to preserve the lab's deformed calf fetus.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You're Attending a Party School...
1> Bill Clinton gave the commencement address in June -- and hasn't left yet.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ] 
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