Subject: Top5 - Dumbest Signs of the Apocalypse
Date: Thu, Nov 1 2001 00:00:09 -0500

T H E - T O P - F I V E - L I S T
The devil made us do it.
The Top 17 Dumbest Signs of the Apocalypse
17.The Four Horsemen, War, Famine, Pestilence and Death, have been replaced by The Four Bowlers of the Apocalypse: Frank, Herb, Clyde, and Fat Joey.
16.My father's socks actually match.
15. And lo, the Warrior Jordan said unto his people that he would not return, and yet, in the first year of the new millennium, he did return, in the garb of a Wizard."
14.McDonald's: "666 Billion Served"
13.Due to pressure from P.E.T.A., the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are seen crammed into a Yugo in the carpool lane.
12.The sky is black. The sea is blood. Demons run freely over the land. The sign ahead says: "You've passed Apocalypse. Use turnaround 2 miles."
11.The Great Cheez-Whiz Tidal Wave eliminates sinners at NASCAR events.
10.In an eerie moment of stillness, all Weebles stop wobbling.
9.Violating centuries of uninterrupted compliance to the natural order, someone's husband replaces the empty roll of toilet paper.
8.Newest Ben & Jerry's flavor: Death by Nuclear Holocaust
7.Hell freezes over, but it's a light freeze, and L. Ron Hubbard plunges through the ice.
6. It is my great pleasure to introduce this year's recipient of the special Oscar for Lifetime Achievement in Film... Sir Pauly Shore!"
5.Not only has everyone in the office mutually agreed on where to eat lunch, but the decision was made in under 15 minutes.
4.Due to budget cuts, the Four Horsemen -- previously War, Famine, Pestilence and Death -- are now Sniffles, Hunger Pangs, Flatulence, and Ennui.
3.Fast food cashier strangely indifferent to whether you want fries with that.
2.The Great One will arise in the East -- and then set in the West.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Dumbest Sign of the Apocalypse...
1.Four very young horsemen seen riding around and around in front of Wal-Mart.
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