The last of the Oracle for a while. I'm sorry I heard Shatner singing, too...

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Selected-By: "Julianna Avedon" <SOteric2@msn.com> The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

Have you ever seen William Shatner performing a musical number? Now don't you wish you could "un-see" it?

Scene: A desolate alien landscape, vaguely resembling a 1960's
       television sound stage. A painted background and several
       styrofoam rocks complete the image.

[Enter SPOCK]

 I am the very model of a Vulcan science officer
 I've information that you need less rarely and more oftener,
 I know all the impulse speeds when trav'lling at a sub-light rate,
 Including the whole warp scale from one up past the number eight.

 I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters biological,
 As well as protocol and all equipment technological,
 About your strange Earth culture I remember nearly all of it,
 From ancient weapons, modern clothes, to recipes for halibut.

Scene: Elsewhere, same planet. Present: a small security team.

 Three little shirts of red are we,
 Here with our phasers at ready,
 To shoot anything that looks scary,
    Three little shirts, of red!

 Captain says not to stray too far.

 Wish we could see him from where we are.

 What is that thing? It looks bizarre!

 Three little shir-- EEEAGH!

    *munch munch munch*

 Two little shirts, of red!

[Enter KIRK, SPOCK, BONES. KIRK begins singing.]

 I'm called Little Captain Kirk -- dear Little Captain Kirk!
    No more promotions for me.
 I'll stay Little Captain Kirk -- proud little Captain Kirk,
    As long as I'm in this Star Fleet.

[FX: large flash of light. ZOT sound. Smoke.]

No, dear supplicant. I've never had to watch William Shatner performing a musical number. At least, not all the way through.