Subject: You know you're from Upstate New York when...
Date: Sat, Jan 12 2002 00:00:16 -0500

PackyHumor welcomes a long-lost contributor! We haven't heard from Tanyalynnette in over five years (31 Jul 1996, to be exact), but she's back with this beaut of local humor...

Apologies to subscribers outside my home region who might not get these references...

1.You refer to downtown Albany as "The City".
2.Vacation" means going to Rochester for the weekend.
3.You measure distance in hours.
4.You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5.You've used your back porch or the trunk of your car as a fridge/deep freeze.
6.You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
7.You use a down comforter in the summer.
8.You drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
9.People say they live in Glenville when their mailing address is Scotia.
10.You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
11.There is a mini-mall every 1/4 mile; if not, you're in Vermont.
12.You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
13.There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Hannaford at any given time.
14.You design your grandkid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
15.Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
16.You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
[ Ed. note - Ooh, BABY! ]
17.You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction.
18.It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
19.You know to avoid tractor trailers (or cars for that matter!) on the Northway with Canadian Plates.
20.It's SODA DAMMIT! And people who call it POP make you want to slap them.
21.You don't consider what Domino's or Pizza Hut sell as Pizza.
22.You know that 'First Night' isn't a Sean Connery movie.
23.There is no such thing as waiting for the left turn arrow at an intersection.
24.Your career ambition is to work for NY state.
25.Even with the slightest threat of snow, you know that Ichobad Crane schools are closed.
26.There is nothing International about Albany airport.
27.You can spell and say 'Schenectady' and 'Rensselaer'.
28.You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Upstate NY.